So I Married A Movie Geek

Scary movie month begins! It's October and, following podcast tradition, we're watching horror movies all month long! The first double feature? Phantasm (1979) and Hellraiser (1987)! In a rambling discussion consisting of 3 separate portions due to a cranky baby, we talk about the Tall Man's mustardness, flying balls at your face!, dwarf slaves, "Pin Cushion Man & the Cinnabon Crew," the grossest love story EVER, Disneyland rides, Honey Boo Boo and MUCH much more! We even amazingly keep it PG-13!

It's Robocop vs The Terminator... at The Hunger Games?! Ok, not really. But it could happen (Team Robocop for the win)! This week, J and K flail about in the shallow end of 80s cyborg film criticism, noting that (a) Detroit is not a very nice place (b) Red Forman - Eric's 'That '70s' Dad! - is a *badass*  and (c) you probably should NOT broadcast your whereabouts when there's a serial killer hunting down people with your exact name. Also, you should consider Benjamin Buttoning down before you're blown into Skittles. Cause it'll make TOTAL SENSE when you hear us talk about it. Join us, won't you? Quick, before we drop from exhaustion...! Rated R for those slippery f bombs, of course!

WE BACK! Due to our little now-6-week-old visitor and the temporary death of our laptop, we had to take a short respite. But we're here and briefly discussing 3 movies we watched over the sleep-deprived break! Babies, notorious teens and Michael J. Fox getting naked in a high-rise elevator! How could you ever go wrong? (Answer: YOU CAN'T!) FAIR IS FAIR! Excuse our spontaneous brain farts! We're still trying to figure this whole having-a-baby thing out! She even makes her 1st appearance on the podcast! Rated PG-13 for a few curse words! (Sorry, Brooklyn!)

ZOMBIES!!!! BRAINS!!! We have a 2 week newborn at home! So we taped a ZOMBIE TRIPLE FEATURE ahead of time! Very smart in hindsight! We feel like walking zombies ourselves! NEED SLEEP!!! ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Sooo, we watched both the O.G. Dawn of the Dead and the 2004 remake! Plus, Justin's favorite zombie movie from childhood, The Return of the Living Dead! Did Krissy appreciate it all?? Which did she like best! You must listen to find out! It's all PG-15ish, we think! Can't remember! New parent zombie brainssssss!!!!!! Send naps!!!

Kevin Bacon rules, you guys. Thought you should know. You should also know that we just had a baby and are apparently never sleeping AGAIN. Thus, this week we see the release of the infamous "lost episode" of the podcast in which we discuss the 1984 version of FOOTLOOSE. We tried recording it several times and eventually thought it was forever gone. But we found it. In our stupid computer hiding. And here it is! It's a blast from the past in audio form! Rated PG-15 because I'm pretty sure we talk about Kevin Bacon's bacon!

Kids! Can't live with 'em! Can't easily kill 'em if they happen to be a raving penmanship-medal coveting psychotic or the Antichrist! This week's double feature is all about wild and crazy progeny with The Bad Seed (1956) and the original The Omen (1976)! Why these two? Because we're having a baby this week! A real one! And we're hoping she doesn't come out already wanting to murder us! The resulting discussion from these two flicks has us expounding upon that fear, plus terrible impressions, the dangers of adoption, mentally deranged former friends, downer birthday parties, bloodthirsty/unjustly-maligned pups, the birth of TMZ?, complicated killing rituals and Gregory Peck's canon (oh how mature and sexy it is!) Rated PG-16 for your listening...pleasure?

The long wait is over, dear friends... Justin and Krissy are here, hyped up on morphine fumes and hot, stinky dog farts, and ready to discuss all things BATMAN - namely the recent ones K hadn't seen yet - Batman Begins and The Dark Knight Rises!! We're not gonna lie though - some of this podcast may end up letting you down, much like one of the movies (ooh, but which?). There's just so much to discuss: increasingly unintelligible accents, how bombs are supposed to work, THEmes of morality, justice and how Christopher Nolan may not actually like women... Like a precarious game of Jenga, this week the momentum builds and shifts until the whole thing comes crashing down in a big pile of angry, TV watching mercenaries. But we will climb out of the damn pit! And because we're not total douchebags, we'll even throw down a rope for the rest of you. You're welcome. Rated PG-16ish. (Yes, we can make up ratings now.)

Dear Sly Stallone: although you've made a plethora of fine films, Krissy hadn't ever seen any of them (NOT ONE!) until just this week! SHENANIGANS! Right? I know. So when picking out the double feature to intro her to your Sly-ness, we went with your most famous, ROCKY (1976), and one of your most infamous, OVER THE TOP (1987)!!! What did she think? Which did she prefer? You have to listen to get the full tilt boogie. But I can give a few clues of what we discussed: Justin's personal Rocky story, favorite entry and obsession with fringe sport flicks, your surprising writing skillz, ice skating for 10 minutes, possibly autistic pet shop employees, "pounding meat," the final Rocky Uno fight (which confused K greatly), truckin' & arm wrasslin', the definition of Over The Top, CB radios, embarrassing dad moments at truck stops and much more!!! It's all rated PG-13/R'ish!

If you're anti-rape, anti-misogyny, and anti-racism (ahem, Saturday Night Fever)... but PRO male exotic dancers with fun names like 'The Worm' (looking at you, Channing Tatum/Justin Winters), have we got a podcast for YOU!! Three dancey-dance movies are up for discussion this week - Magic Mike, Flashdance, and SNF - but only one can win that coveted oh-so-ginormous 1st place trophy! And we'll give you a hint - it's not the one that features a lead whose day job involves working with tools. Well, wait... scratch that. They all work with tools. ...Some of them have large tools. ...Some of them ARE tools.  But we digress! The only tools we care about on this podcast are chocolate dildos. (Have we mentioned that this episode is rated 'R'?) Also included in this weeks episode is a FREE CPR lesson! Fo realsies! So grab an unconscious dummy and a bottle of wine, listen, and enjoy! (BTW, we apologize about the more crappy than normal sound quality - you can blame Mr. Wine-o-clock!!)

This week, we took in a PIXAR trio and a brand new indie on Justin's birthday! With only a few more weeks to go until our little visitor arrives, we thought it was time to get animated, y'all! Who doesn't love a movie that the kids can enjoy while their parents sob softly nearby? (Tear...tear...tear.) Did the brand new Brave make the grade? Have we joined the cult of red-haired Merida? ALSO...Ratatouille or The Incredibles? And...What are our top 5 favorite Pixar flicks of all time? Plus, we took in a bday showing of one of the most unique movies of the year, Beasts of the Southern Wild! It's all tame for us. Maybe even PG-rated?